Hello fellow Introverts!
I know most of you are living your best life with this quarantine; no social interaction, unlimited reading time, and (at least in Southern California) rain, so you can’t be forced outside!
But….
If you clicked on this article maybe you're experiencing one teenisy, tiny problem.
Your family.
Yeah, yeah, you love them and all, but you’re now spending every moment around them. And with all the extra stress of the quarantine, tensions are running high. I feel like the messenger between two warring parties.
And it might not be that bad in your home, but still parents and siblings who are desperate for social interaction can be…tiring.
So here are some ways to get some time away from your family and help you keep your and your family members from killing each other.
1. Take a walk.
If you have a dog, offer to walk them, if not, you can go by yourself. Getting outside can help clear your mind and it gets you away from the craziness that might be your house (it’s also great exercise). And, because of social distancing, no one will try to talk to you!
2. Find your own space.
If you’re lucky enough to have your own room, use that, if not, do you have an extra room or an office? Even your backyard will work in a pinch. Wherever you decide, declare it your own and then stockpile snacks, books, chocolate, blankets, whatever you like. Hang curtains or sheets to divide the spot from the rest of the room or close the door and put a ‘do not enter’ sign on it. You can retrate to this private space to recharge your social batteries.
3. Schedule “Me Time”.
If your family, like mine, is notorious for not paying attention to emotional and mental signs, and tend to barge in on your private space, talk to your parents about making time for you to be alone everyday. Maybe from 1-3 you go to your little world of ‘introvertism’ and no one is allowed to disturb you. You could put a notebook or piece of paper on the door or outside of your space for family members to write things down that they want to tell you, so you can talk to them after. The most important thing is that you get some time, no matter how little, to be alone. It will help. This can also be a chance for everyone to be apart, your parents can nap, your younger siblings can entertain themselves or goof off, without anyone to try to get them to do anything.
4. Find a long-term project to work on.
This could be a craft, 1000+ piece puzzle, writing a novel, whatever. As long as you're passionate about it, your family may be reluctant to disturb you (and if it’s inspiration you need, this website has plenty of ideas!).
5. Learn a new skill!
This is self explanatory. There are plenty of websites (like this one) and YouTube videos to help with this.
6. Have a family schedule.
This should be decided upon as a family and will structure your day so you know what you should be doing when. The schedule should include, wake-up time, meal times, and bedtime. This can be especially helpful for younger siblings who don’t have a fully developed time-management systems yet. Type it up and print out lots and lots of copies. Put one wherever it will be useful (bedrooms, kitchen, bathrooms and so on). This will keep parents and siblings from yelling and screaming at each other. Hopefully.
7. Have family meetings.
These can be weekly, daily, or as often as you need, whatever works for your family. This is a chance for everyone to participate in an open discussion about how they're doing, what they want to do, what they wish others would do. IMPORTANT!! No one person should dominate the discussion. This can be hard for parents, but they need to listen to you and your siblings. Two things that are helpful is if you have a notebook to keep track of conversation and if everyone prepares a few things they want to discuss. It can be just a problem they have or something that’s working well. In the notebook, you can write the topic and what was decided about it. For example let’s say you suggest that dinner be moved from 6:30 to 7:00. In the notebook write your name and then ‘dinner - 7:00’. You have some reasons as to why this is. Your parents and siblings listen to you and give their opinions on why dinner should stay or be moved. After discussing for a few minutes, you decide as a family to not move dinner. On the next line write ‘not changed’. You should do this for everything that’s discussed so you have a record to refer to. Keep the notebook in an easily accessible place, like a coffee table, so everyone can see it. This may help lower tensions because instead of yelling and fighting, someone can calmly check the notebook to see what it says.
I hope you are able to use some of these to keep you and your families as sane as possible.
That’s all for now. Stay safe!
I’ll ‘see’ you next time.
-Charley
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