HEyO it's Nemi here again in the culinary section. Yeah I’ve been cooking a LOT and by cooking a lot I mean making five thousand variations of the same dish. And what dish is that? You may be able to tell from the title - sandwiches.
Sandwiches are that one thing that you can make hundreds of variations of and never get tired of. But I’m getting tired of them, I just have to say such things because I write for a blog, and blog writers say such things.
Anyways, I'm tired of sandwiches, and my mother told me, make sandwiches. So i thought to myself - “i am going to make this sandwich taste as little like a sandwich as possible.” and i thought, what on earth can you add that will overpower the taste of bread?
Mushrooms.
Seasoned mushrooms. If you want you can eat only the mushrooms, don't even put it in a sandwich. Alright let’s get on with it.
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Ingredients:
Sandwich materials (i.e. bread, onions, tomatoes, cheese, whatever else you put in a sandwich idk what y’all carnivores put in sandwiches)
Oil (i used olive oil)
Mushrooms (i used about 8-9 and it fed 4 people, but you’re welcome to use more)
Salt
Black pepper
Garlic
An assortment of fresh and/or dried herbs. I don’t care what you use, I used a generic “Italian” seasoning mix
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Procedure (what is this, a science experiment?):
1. Dice up your sandwich materials. I like my onions stringy, and my tomatoes flat. But you can cut them how you like. You can even cut up the bread if that’s your thing. Remember to slice up your mushrooms too.
2. Oil your pan, like usual. Just enough to cover the bottom, blah blah. I won’t insult your intelligence. Wait for that stuff to heat up n stuff.
3. Onions. Pan. Salt. Wait until translucent, transfer to plate for later.
4. Now you’ve got an onion-y pan. More oil in the pan, wait for the oil to heat up. MUSHROOMS IN PAN. Wonderful. Don’t salt them too early, or they will release water and become soggy. Ew soggy mushrooms. Wait until the mushrooms have begun to cook.
5. In the meanwhile, mince your garlic cloves as finely as possible. Don’t want to bite into a large piece of garlic, that’s never pleasant. Put as much as you want. Measure it with your heart.
6. Your mushrooms are cooked, your skin is clear. Put the garlic with the mushrooms in the pan. Toss it for a bit. Salt in pan, pepper in pan, Italian herb nonsense in the pan. Your house smells wonderful. Your mood is lifting. You feel like dancing, but you watch your mushrooms.
7. Occasionally take a mushroom from the pan and check if it’s cooked all the way through by eating it. No, you won’t die. Once your mushrooms are cooked, put them on a plate.
8. I don't need to tell you how to assemble a sandwich, but I will tell you my mother’s method for grilling sandwiches so that your sandwiches will be wonderful.
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My mother’s method for grilling a sandwich (this is no longer a science experiment):
1. Clarified butter on both sides of the bread. Toast the inside sides of the two pieces of bread in a pan, and then flip em over.
2. On one bread, put cheese, followed by any and all sandwich insides (i like to go from flattest to not flat) followed by sauces, followed by more cheese, followed by the other bread.
3. Press using a spatula. Press. Keep pressing.
4. Flip and let the other side get as golden brown as the first one (however brown you like it)
5. Remove from pan. Slice in half. Make sandwich number 2.
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So yeah. If I had my way, I would skip the sandwich entirely and eat only the mushrooms, every day for the rest of ever. I didn’t have my way… but you can have yours!!! Skip the sandwich part of this recipe entirely and eat only mushrooms for lunch. Nothing is stopping you!
If my mother asks me to make sandwiches one more time I will eat my boots instead.
Anemone out :)