Hello everyone! ‘Tis the Finn!
Demiromanticism, for me, is when you need an emotional connection with someone before you can start having romantic feelings (or otherwise) for someone who you are interested in.
Moment of truth here: I’ve never had a celebrity crush. I’ve thought some people were cute, sure, and maybe I obsessed over a movie they were in for a couple of days, but I’ve never had the rushing butterfly feeling hit me like a train wreck over a celebrity or famous person.
Something always was missing.
So, being a tiny little sixth grader, I got to middle school, and didn’t get the whole “boy crazy” thing that everyone else did.
I went along with it anyway (remember, I was a ‘lil itty bitty sixth grader with wiry turquoise frames that didn’t fit on my face correctly), and had the occasional crush or two, but never felt that giddy rush for “OMG, he looked at me!” for someone I didn’t even know, unlike others.
Middle school whooshed past me at warp speed. After an annoying, hormonal February in eighth grade, I decided to swear off middle school romance until May. There was too much to deal with, and I had plans. I had been working towards several awards, and I was preparing for the first serious finals in my school career.
May came and went, and school finishes up. It isn’t until several weeks into the summer that I realized that I was pansexual, and that I had a massive crush on a girl who I just spent five months getting to know.
I told a couple of people that I was pansexual, defining it like this:
“For me, gender doesn’t matter- I need an emotional connection with someone before I can get any feelings for them.”
My friends were relatively chill, and a lot of them were curious to know more. Not bad, right?
I eventually came out to my parents as well, but it wasn't until November that I discovered demiromance.
Thanks to my schools Sexuality and Gender Alliance Club, I learned about what it meant to be demiromantic. The club hosted a presentation on some less common sexualities, and the Pansexual debate came up.
I chimed in, trying to play it cool for the cute chick across the room, and gave the above definition of Pansexuality.
Someone told me that it sounded like I was demiromantic.
Flirty me shut up, face burning slightly, and listened to the rest of the presentation.
While ‘listening’, I quickly sent my friend a text. Because, of course, that’s how I roll.
We talked for a few minutes, and I started to redefine my labels. It felt right to have a distinction between who I catch feelings for, and how I catch feelings in general.
That missing puzzle piece finally clicked.
So, I’m demiromantic, and pansexual. And, no, I am not a fan of kitchenware.
Stay safe, smile, and I’ll ‘see’ you next time.
Finn out.